‘Content warning – this post discusses suicidal feelings’

With the debate still raging around the pros and cons of Working From Home vs attending the office, I have to admit that I've always enjoyed going in to that shared space where I can meet, collaborate and connect with my colleagues in person.

Yeah I get it; that commute is a drag - and costly - but sometimes those moments with people in person can be so meaningful, it makes the journey worth it.

On the other hand, I also recognise that I am someone who needs to verbalise my thoughts to process an idea; something many people describe as talking too much, ahem. But it is the way my brain works, so I do work hard to respect boundaries and not be too disruptive when people sitting nearby are trying to concentrate.

That’s also why I choose my moments with thoughtfulness to say Hi, or to introduce myself to someone new as I really want that initial moment to be a positive experience. After all, you never get a second chance to make a first impression.

To say Hi to someone you don’t know in an elevator, or in the queue for coffee takes bravery, and is something I have worked on over the years because those moments can be really magical in creating new relationships.

Sometimes I wonder what the impact of some random person saying hi could that be for the other person? I guess I never really gave it much thought other than shooshing away those feelings of cringe when they creep in.

But one interaction in the office will stay with me for a very long time. Not because it stood out.. in fact, quite the opposite - I only stopped by someone’s desk to say Hi for a few minutes before heading home. We had a chat, parted ways, and that was that. Or so I thought.

A few weeks later, that same colleague popped up in the chat on Teams, so I sent a quick note saying Hi just to check in and I asked how they were doing.

Their response was NOT what I expected. After a couple of minutes of those little bouncing ellipsis as they typed, this is what came through:

This is a trigger warning, so if you are feeling in any way low or if you're affected by suicide, please don't read this.

*************

The day I saw you in the office I was suicidal. I wanted to make my way to the top floor, walk up the staircase to the roof, and jump off.

My mental health had been taking a turn for months and my suicidal thoughts that day were at their strongest.

The fact you'd stopped to talk to me, stopped me in my tracks. Your kindness for those moments were pivotal in my decision to go home instead.

Thank you. I have lots of support now - I'm getting better every day. ​

Wow. I did not expect that.

As I processed the words, I was both shocked and saddened that a colleague was going through such an emotional rollercoaster. And equally, I felt relief and a sense of hopefulness for that person that they were getting the support they needed.

So, the next time someone wants to reel off efficiency metrics, or drum up the benefits of that mythical ‘water-cooler effect’ on collaboration.. just know that the best reason for heading into the office is that your presence can make ALL the difference to the people you meet, work or even have lunch with.

The opportunity to just say Hi and check in with someone - or indeed to introduce yourself to someone new - is a gift you get to share with fulfilment. After all, that one small gesture in your day could turn out to be a lifeline for someone trying to make it through theirs. ♥️

When life is difficult, Samaritans are here – day or night, 365 days a year.

You can call them for free on 116 123, email them at jo@samaritans.org, or visit samaritans.org to find your nearest branch.